Genetically Superior

Something I wrote about Apple. by Kevin
July 23, 2008, 1:16 am
Filed under: Technology, Written by Kevin | Tags: , , ,

Apparently, Apple is set to release a Macbook Touch in October (oh geez I’m so excited<-sarcastic), this unconfirmed rumor comes from a “close source” who says Apple is planning a “product transition” in September. All I really have to say about that is: big fucking deal, I really don’t care.

But it absolutely blows my mind the amount of press this tiny unconfirmed rumor about a “product transition” creates. This left me wondering how Apple manages to create such enormous buzz with just about anything they ever do. I understand they make good products, I have an iPod, I wish I could afford an iPhone, I sort of want a Macbook; but what I don’t understand is their power over the citizens of the internet.

One must first look at the amazing turnaround they have accomplished over the last ten years. Back in the late 90’s it looked like Gates was finally putting the nails in Jobs’ coffin as Apple continued losing ground fast to companies like Dell and Gateway. But they were saved by an invention initially dismissed as bulky, over-priced, ugly, pointless and stupid. At the release of the first generation iPod back in late 2001 it was generally given reviews something to the effect of: who the hell would need this fat piece of shit? But a few generations later, the iPod was the toy everyone wanted for Christmas.The iPod put the spotlight back on Apple, allowed them to produce buzz around their other products which shared the iPod’s sleakness and simplicity. This allowed them to continue to take advantage of Microsoft’s squirming.

Nowadays you can’t walk around a college library without hundreds of glowing Apple logos staring back at you. Apple has been enormously successful among college students and young people in general. I think the younger market is very important in technology because they decide whats cool, define the trends, and dictate which product will be successful. They also decide which computer they want for graduation, and which computer should replace the one Mom spilled coffee on.

I think simplicity also has a lot to do with Apple’s success. Their product line is simple and concise, in other words shopping for an Apple product is easy. If you want a laptop, you can get an Air, Macbook, or Macbook Pro. But if you look at a competitor like Dell or HP, you have multiple product lines, within those product lines you have multiple models, and each model has multiple configurations. All this choice mostly serves to confuse the hell out of the general public. Also, looking at Mac OS X, simplicity is evident in the design and functionality, especially when looking at it side by side with the disaster that is Vista. Everything Apple does has a very clean shine to it.

Its difficult to place what else makes Apple so capable of generating buzz. I almost want to say its Steve Jobs, but I find it hard to believe anyone actually likes someone who is such an asshole; seriously look at this guy. I guess Apple has a reputation somewhat akin to Google: the company that does no wrong and is super-duper awesome.

Its pretty clear now that Apple will continue to piss off Microsoft for many years to come, they will continue to gain market share in computers and sell tons of iPods. They will continue to keep the market on its toes with gobs of innovation. And they will continue to generate stupid rumors that make it to the front page of Digg, Gizmodo, and every other stupid blog including this one.

Also on an unrelated note, if you haven’t started watching HBO’s miniseries Generation Kill, get your shit together, its awesome. If you don’t have HBO, steal it off the internet like everyone else.


12 Comments so far
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I almost want to say its Steve Jobs, but I find it hard to believe anyone actually likes someone who is such an asshole; seriously look at this guy.

I do. And do you have personal knowledge of his unlikeability? What did the picture have to do with anything? I am dying to hear.

Comment by Dizzle

Technically the MB, MBP, and MBA each represent separate product lines. You have at least 2 different models to choose from within each line. Within each model you also have the option of changing the configuration.
I agree that Apple does make it simpler for most rich, trendy retards who buy their computers; but for those of us who actually appreciate how our computers function it can be just as complicated as buying a PC. Hell, you can config a Mac Pro so it costs over 20K without even adding software.

Fuck you Steve jobs.

And no, I’m not sure what point I’m trying to make. Its 1:30 AM here.

Comment by miK3_

As far as Steve Jobs being an asshole, watch any of his keynotes or read any interview. One of my cousins works at Microsoft and knows some people at Apple, and apparently hes a nightmare to work for.

As far simplicity of product lines, compare Apple’s to Dell’s side by side and you’ll see what I mean. I realize Apple has similar structure as far as their products, but they essentially sell 3 laptops, 3 types of iPod, etc. Each one of their products seem to fit a different purpose: Macbook Air for retards, Macbook for normal people, and Macbook Pro for those who feel they are 1337. Looking at Dell, the only real difference between their different product lines is the price point rather than purpose and functionality.

1:30 AM? Thats no excuse, I posted this at 1:16 AM, I’m going to kill you.

Comment by Kevin

I’d really rather you didn’t. Then I couldn’t go snowboarding tomorrow. Bitch.

Comment by miK3_

I have watched his keynotes. And know people who work at Apple. I am still wondering why you felt it appropriate to post his picture and go just look at the guy. What does that have to do with anything?

Comment by Dizzle

[…] superior thinks this proves something Posted in July 25th, 2008 by Dizzle in Dear Leader Source Its difficult to place what else makes Apple so capable of generating buzz. I almost want to say […]

Pingback by » apparently genetically superior thinks this proves something i drank the kool-aid: clutching my dixie cup of apple goodness

Hahahahahaha, oh my god, you have no idea how happy this makes me.

Not only did you take this seriously, you posted a response as if we were a legitimate operation.

I’m truly happy that I pissed someone off to this degree, mission accomplished. LOLOLOLOL.

Comment by Kevin

What is even funnier is that you took a satire site seriously. Boooyaaa. I am literally rolling on the floor. Literally. Crap – there are dust bunnies. Get out the roomba.

Comment by Dizzle

Yes I did indeed take your site seriously. It is quite well designed and very well written. Congratulations on your very clever idea, best wishes.

*cough* dipshit *cough*

Sorry I didn’t edit out the profanity, My B.

Comment by Kevin

Well of course you are free to cuss on your own site which you seem to have gone out of your way to do above. Shrug. Words are just words, but I am an evangelical Christians and try to keep things on the right side of clean language wise to avoid unnecessary offense to some of my Christian friends reading the site. Personally I don’t find that particular word that profane, but most Christians would.

(if you had time to read through the site at all, you will see that I say Steve is an ass all the time – that is what makes him so darned loveable!)

I keep trying to come up with some complaint to send off to so I can get a rude response. I would freakin’ frame it. Alternatively, I will be at MacWorld 2009 so maybe I can get snubbed personally by him ala Violet Blue (though I think he snubbed her because ass or no, he is no fan or supporter of pornography and she is a porn blogger).

But she actually TOUCHED his sleeve. Dang. :)

Oh crap, time for my nightly prayer towards Cupertino (aka Macca).


Comment by Dizzle

You said ASS!

Comment by Kevin

As I said, I say ass numerous times on my site. It is a shortened form of jackass which arbitrarily I don’t consider profane. The other use is referring to a body part, which still culturally is profane. One day culture will likely not consider it profane. Profanity is arbitrarily designated limits by culture, but I try to respect the sensitivies of others within reason. With the exception of the F bomb, most things don’t bother me personally, but I try to keep things mild on my blog for the benefit of others who have differing opinions in my circle of friends.

Comment by Dizzle

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